Becoming a parent for the first time is a big life transition. So many changes both at home and at work often take new parents by surprise, and it can take a while to adjust and settle into a new routine when returning to work.
Furthermore, the extended period away from work combined with the new demands of parenting can impact on a parent’s confidence and sense of identity. Although parental leave may represent a pause in one’s career, it can also provide the opportunity to reflect and grow, revealing new or previously underappreciated skills and strengths.
In my experience, coaching clients often find it difficult to acknowledge their own strengths, so finding tools to help facilitate your thinking can be helpful. Once you have developed a sense of your strengths, you will be able to use this knowledge to increase your confidence and enhance your mindset as you return to work. In this blog post we share four ways in which you can proactively take time to self-reflect and identify your strengths before diving back into work.
1.Using online tools
There are numerous personality questionnaires and strengths profiles you can use to help you clarify what your strengths are. Some of these are freely available online such as Via Character or Strengths Finder.
Once you have completed a survey and you have a list of strengths, take some time to reflect on these by asking yourself the following questions:
Do I enjoy using these strengths?
Which strengths do I find most energising and exciting?
How can I increase the application of these strengths at home and at work?
2. Self-reflection questions
Often in coaching, I will share some questions with a client for them to reflect on between sessions. Not all the questions will be useful, and over-analysing is often unhelpful! I suggest finding a few minutes to sit and quietly read through these questions and respond instinctively:
What are you proud of?
What do you love to do?
When are you at your best?
What or who brings out the best in you?
What is your most significant achievement (work and home)?
What personal strengths lie beneath these achievements?
3. Capture your new learning
Parenthood often reveals new or previously unseen skills and strengths such as empathy, patience and adaptability because we find ourselves thrown into a new role with a lot of responsibilities!
Allowing yourself to pause and look back at your time away from the workplace can provide you with new insights into who you have become. I have offered some questions below; however, you may find that simply reflecting on the journey you have been on – the successes and the learnings – will give you the opportunity to discover just how much you have grown.
What have been the most challenging moments?
What did I learn about myself in these moments?
What have I found most exciting about this time?
What does that tell me about my strengths?
What am I most proud of during my parental leave?
4. Feedback from others
If you find it difficult to come up with some ideas of your strengths on your own, or perhaps you’d like to test your thinking and see what you might have missed, asking other people for their feedback can be invaluable – and may even surprise you!
It is a good idea to ask a few people (at least 5) and to ensure you ask people across the breadth of your life. So, you might include some people in your personal life and also some people in your work environment. You could even challenge yourself to ask people you might not usually ask for feedback!
What one word or phrase describes me best?
What do you value most about me?
What do you believe is my greatest strength? Why?
What is one thing I can do more of?
What is your greatest wish for me?
None of the ideas shared here are fixed – be playful and creative! If you are comfortable doing so, talk with your friends about what you are working on and explore these ideas together. When you are back at work, consider how you might leverage your strengths to help you manage the boundaries between work and your personal life and prioritise your well-being.
And remember, this is an evolving process. As you settle back into work and re-establish your career things will undoubtedly change. They will continue to change as your child(ren) grow and your career develops. Re-visit your strengths regularly, editing, adding and enhancing them as you go!
If you’d like support while adjusting to life as a working parent, please get in touch.
My colleague Sarah Turner and I have been busy creating content highlighting the importance of organisations providing support for working parents. As part of this, we created this video series exploring the entire journey of maternity leave, from before the leave starts, through to preparing to return and then the first few months back at work. If you or your organisation would like to understand more about how to support your employees as they take parental leave, please get in touch.
This blog post is a collaboration between Maternity Coaches Laura Duggal and Sarah Turner. They are working together, sharing their experiences and bringing the best of their joint advice and knowledge to you.
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