When a person becomes a parent, something profound happens—and it's far more complex than most organisations realise. This isn't just about a new life at home; it's a fundamental reshaping of a person's entire identity, and understanding of the world.
Most managers see an employee's parental leave as a pause—a temporary break from their professional journey. But the reality is quite different. Becoming a parent is less of a pause and more of a complete recalibration of a person's entire operating system.
The Unspoken Professional Metamorphosis
Imagine walking into a role that demands 24/7 responsibility, comes with no training manual, and fundamentally challenges everything you thought you knew about yourself.
This is parenthood.
And this transformation doesn't stay neatly contained within home walls—it profoundly impacts how we think, work, and approach professional life.
Matrescence and Patrescence (the physical, psychological and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child) are far more than just biological events. They represent a complete personal revolution. Parents don't just add a new role to their life; they undergo a fundamental reconstruction of their identity and priorities.
The Emotional and Professional Landscape
For many parents, returning to work feels like navigating two completely different worlds. There's an internal dialogue that wasn't there before—a constant negotiation between professional expectations and parental responsibilities. The drive and ambition that once propelled their career now coexist with a deep, visceral need to be present for their child.
This isn't about reduced commitment. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Parents often develop extraordinary skills during this transition: unprecedented multitasking abilities, emotional intelligence that can transform team dynamics, and a level of efficiency that comes from understanding the true value of time.
What Managers Need to Understand
Fathers are experiencing this transformation just as deeply as mothers, though their journey often goes unrecognised. They're wrestling with societal expectations, minimal support systems, and the challenge of maintaining professional performance while experiencing significant personal change.
Many parents develop what feels like two distinct personas—a "work self" and a "parent self." This split can be emotionally exhausting, creating additional stress that isn't visible on the surface. A seemingly simple work request can trigger complex emotional responses rooted in their new reality.
The Real Professional Value
Here's the insight most organisations miss: Becoming a parent doesn't diminish an employee's professional capacity—it exponentially enhances it. Parents develop:
Remarkable emotional regulation
Advanced time management skills
Deep empathy and communication abilities
Resilience that can transform team dynamics
A nuanced understanding of priority management
Supporting the Transition
The most effective support isn't about flexibility policies or extended leave. It's about genuine understanding. It's recognising that an employee returning from parental leave isn't the same person who left—and that's a powerful, positive transformation.
Successful organisations don't just accommodate parents; they actively recognise the unique strengths and perspectives they bring. They understand that supporting parents isn't a HR checkbox—it's an investment in some of the most adaptable, committed professionals in the workforce.
A Call to Action for Leaders
Take time to truly listen. Understand that each parent's journey is unique. Create spaces for open, judgment-free conversations about their transition. Recognise that supporting parents isn't about making concessions—it's about unlocking extraordinary professional potential.
Your employees are not just returning to work. They are returning transformed—with new skills, perspectives, and a depth of understanding that can be your organisation's most significant competitive advantage.
My colleague Sarah Turner and I have been busy creating content highlighting the importance of organisations providing support for working parents. As part of this, we created this video series exploring the entire journey of maternity leave, from before the leave starts, through to preparing to return and then the first few months back at work. If you or your organisation would like to understand more about how to support your employees as they take parental leave, please get in touch.
This blog post is a collaboration between Maternity Coaches Laura Duggal and Sarah Turner. They are working together, sharing their experiences and bringing the best of their joint advice and knowledge to you.
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