The three most common emotional challenges for new working parents are guilt, overwhelm and uncertainty. Returning to work after having a child isn't just a logistical challenge—it can also be an emotional rollercoaster.
Most people find this transition difficult because:
They attempt to return to work using strategies that worked BC (Before Children.)
They don’t have a safe space to acknowledge the emotional shift, meaning they ignore their feelings instead
They think they should be able to ‘power on through’ so don’t ask for any support
They believe they have to choose between being a great parent or a success at work
The Emotional Triad of Return-to-Work Challenges
1. Guilt: The Silent Career Killer
Guilt is the invisible emotional weight that many working parents carry, a complex tapestry of conflicting feelings that can quietly erode your professional confidence. It shows up in those moments when you're sitting in a meeting, wondering if you're somehow "abandoning" your child, or feeling a deep sense of shame for wanting a career that extends beyond motherhood. You might find yourself torn between your professional ambitions and your parental responsibilities, wrestling with an internal narrative that makes you question your choices.
But here's the truth: working parents aren't choosing between their child and their career—they're modelling resilience, ambition, and personal growth for their children. There’s more information about the positive impact a meaningful career can have on our children in this Harvard Business Review Article by Stewart D. Friedman How Our Careers Affect Our Children.
My key takeaway was that “children’s emotional health was higher when parents believed that family should come first, regardless of the amount of time they spent working. We also found children were better off when parents cared about work as a source of challenge, creativity, and enjoyment.”
Imagine showing your child that success isn't about choosing between love and ambition, but about integrating both. Your career becomes a living lesson in possibility—demonstrating that passion, purpose, and parental love can coexist.
2. Overwhelm: When Everything Feels Too Much
Overwhelm is the constant companion of new working parents, a relentless wave of mental exhaustion that can make even the simplest tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest. It creeps in through the endless to-do lists, the juggling of professional responsibilities and parental duties, and the persistent feeling that you're perpetually behind. Decision paralysis sets in, leaving you frozen between work emails, nappy changes, and the desperate need for a moment of peace.
The first step in managing overwhelm is radical acceptance. Acknowledge that this season of life is intense, and it's okay to not have everything perfectly balanced. Your house might not always be spotless, and you might occasionally forget to send that work email—and that's completely normal. Self-compassion becomes your most powerful tool.
Practical strategies can make a significant difference. Start by creating systems that reduce the mental load. Meal planning, use shared digital calendars with your partner, and develop morning and evening routines that feel manageable. Technology can be your ally: meal delivery services and shared task management apps can shave precious minutes off your daily mental calculations.
Remember that this intense period is temporary. Your children will grow, your professional rhythm will stabilise, and you'll develop incredible resilience through this journey. Some days will feel like a beautiful dance, and others will feel like pure survival—and both are absolutely okay.
3. Uncertainty: Navigating the Unknown
Uncertainty after parental leave is like standing at the edge of a landscape that simultaneously feels familiar and completely foreign. The professional world you left hasn't stood still, and neither have you.
Creating certainty isn't about controlling every single detail, but about building anchors of stability that can help ground you during this transition. Think of it like creating a supportive infrastructure for your professional return. This means having conversations with your manager about expectations, understanding current project landscapes, and developing realistic goals.
Practical preparation becomes your ally. Before fully returning, test out your new routines. What does a work morning look like with a child? How will drop-offs, commutes, and evening transitions work?
Letting go of the need to know everything requires gentleness with yourself. Each uncertain moment is an opportunity to practice self-compassion. You're not starting over—you're continuing a journey with newfound depth, perspective, and resilience.
All Emotions Are Welcome Here
Every feeling you're experiencing is valid. Guilt, overwhelm, uncertainty—although they might be deeply uncomfortable, they are totally natural and even to be expected. The most helpful thing you can do is not to try and eliminate them, but embrace them and explore them with curiosity and kindness.
If you’d like support while adjusting to life as a working parent, please get in touch.
My colleague Sarah Turner and I have been busy creating content highlighting the importance of organisations providing support for working parents. As part of this, we created this video series exploring the entire journey of maternity leave, from before the leave starts, through to preparing to return and then the first few months back at work. If you or your organisation would like to understand more about how to support your employees as they take parental leave, please get in touch.
This blog post is a collaboration between Maternity Coaches Laura Duggal and Sarah Turner. They are working together, sharing their experiences and bringing the best of their joint advice and knowledge to you.
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