The festive period can be challenging for several reasons. I am noticing a sense of overwhelm and exhaustion in my coaching clients, and I am increasingly aware of it in myself as the promise of a break over Christmas gets closer.
Understanding the Holiday Challenges
This time of year brings with it the expectations of busyness; parties, drinks, present buying and of course, meeting deadlines and getting work finished before year-end. Many of us tumble into the holiday period tired, frazzled and low in energy. Then, depending on your circumstances, we have the day itself and all that it brings.
Acknowledging the Impact of Family Dynamics
Spending time with family members, whether we see them regularly or not, can be problematic. Finding ourselves back with members of our family of origin can trigger old roles and patterns of behaviour, leading to heightened emotions on a day that for so many of us, holds unrealistic expectations.
If you are a parent with little children, the excitement can be overwhelming for them, impacting their mood, their sleep and their routine.
Shifting Focus: From Doing to Being
Whilst we might not be able to control or change. other’s behaviour, we can choose to change our own.
If you know that Christmas, albeit a magical and special occasion, has the tendency to be overwhelming, and, like me, you want to return to work in January feeling refreshed, try setting an intention for how you want to be over the holidays.
So much of Christmas is about doing, so my invitation is to focus on who you are being.
Questions to Guide Your Intentions
What do I mean? Ask yourself some questions such as:
What is most important to me over this holiday period?
Why is that important to me?
Who are the people I most want to spend time with?
If I was to include myself in the care that I show others, what might that look like?
Setting Boundaries and Honouring Rituals
Clarifying your values in this way helps you to make choices about where you direct your attention and therefore your energy. It can also help us to put in place some boundaries, giving ourselves permission to say no.
For example, this Christmas I’ll be creating space for myself when the house is full of people by introducing some rituals that I find calming and resourceful.
These include meditation, breathwork, journaling, reading, painting and solitary walks with the dog. I’ll also prioritise my sleep by not going to bed too late and having a regular wake up time.
I know that for me, if I am able to honour these rituals, I’ll be much more present with my family and loved ones. This means that I will feel calm, be patient and also much kinder to myself when things don’t work out as planned!
Managing Overwhelm for Children and Adults
For children, this whole period can be so exciting they don’t quite know what to do with themselves. Thankfully, mine are a little older now, but when they were small, we would regularly start Christmas day at 4 or 5 am.
Doing what you can to prepare for the inevitable overwhelm can help. Plan ahead and try and keep to a regular schedule as best as possible. If you find you need some quiet time, it may well be that your child does too, and they just don’t know how to ask for it.
Look for opportunities to escape from the noise and overstimulation together. Going for a walk to look at the Christmas lights, reading, colouring, sticker books or listening to an audio book together are great options.
Being Kind to Yourself
Being kind to ourselves allows us to take care of our own needs at a time of year when many of us are feeling depleted. When we feel energised, boosted and fulfilled, we have so much more to offer, and we become the best version of ourselves.
This blog post is a collaboration between Maternity Coaches Laura Duggal and Sarah Turner. They are working together, sharing their experiences and bringing the best of their joint advice and knowledge to you.
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